I accepted the help only to learn that even cooking was easy forhim."My father always taught me that men are better at cooking meat," hesaid, cutting the meat and then stopping. "Sorry! I didn't mean that you..." It felt awkward, and we finished the preparation in silence.*****I kept my silence during the dinner, but Linda, Mary, and David weredrinking wine, chatting, and laughing happily.I wasn't listening, but I heard David mentioned Hawaii."Wait a moment!" I interrupted. "You know each other from Hawaii?"It was a second or two of silence before Mary answered, "Yes, I metthere with David." But that seconds of silence tells me more than I waswishing to know.*****It was late at night when Olivia woke me up. She wanted to eat, and Igave her my breast. I was still half asleep when I realized that I canhear Linda moaning. She was always crying aloud when she was having anorgasm."Aaaaah! Yes! Aaaah! David!" I heard her cry, and I gasped with horror.I wanted to run to their room to do. She turned the handle, opened the door a few feet, then stopped. She was silhouetted in the door frame by the bright lights in the hall outside. She turned her head halfway back toward me, and said simply, in a calm and even voice, "I love you." Then she turned and looked me in the eye for a split second, and walked out the door.The air in the room felt still as the door swung closed behind her. I sat on the bed for several minutes, my heart pounding. I knew everything had just changed. And I knew, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that I loved her too. I had for a very long time, but I could never be honest with myself. I chose to have her any way I could, but I knew deep down inside that it wouldn't be enough. I was in love with a woman married to another man. And now, as the reality of my love for her sprang out of me, I feared I would never truly have her.I made my way back to work and finished the afternoon in a trance. I went to bed early that night without eating dinner. I had no.
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